I saw this cute girl at a coffee shop sitting all alone and I came up to her and asked her what she was drinking she told me “That’s none of your business” bitch I was trying to be fucking romantic and find love at a coffee shop
Fuck you and your fucking coffee
Yeah it’s really frustrating that girls don’t realize by being in public alone they are either soliciting sex or looking for their Romeo 100% of the time.
^^^ boom goes the dynamite
*tour guide voice* ”if you look to your left you can see all my failed text posts and if you look over there to your right you can see all my selfies with 0 notes”
when one of your posts actually gets notes
(Source: vvebkin, via gaytsumiki)
u wake up on christmas morning and go downstairs, full of excitement. somebody is stealing all of your christmas presents. it is jesus. “its my birthday, not yours” he hisses menacingly, then runs away with all your gifts in his arms